My fellow Americans I am here on the 14th of this month to declare myself as your next president. Thank you for electing me. Honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know how to make you all act like civilized human beings rather than neanderthals like the citizens of America have acted like for the past 100 200 years. I have a challenge for all of you.
BE NICE!
How hard is that to ask? I no longer want to here the word "can't." I no longer want to hear that someone else brought you down. I no longer want you to feel that you're not good enough.
You were born with excellence inside you and my challenge is to unleash that inner awesome.
Be kind to others. Work your hardest. The glass is no longer half empty, it is half full.
There are a lot of problems in this country, but you all are the first step to creating a place where we can all hold hands and come together as brothers and sisters of Americas.
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